I Can’t Make A Decision, Tiffany. What do I do?

These days you hear everywhere the importance of not just making the right decision, but making an aligned one. 

Being in alignment when we make choices sounds great, but … what does that actually mean and how do we get there when we’re already stressed and frustrated?

Alignment, when it comes down to it, is energetic. 

What does that mean? Alignment is when our thoughts and actions are in sync with our soul, the universe, and - to simplify it - with our goals and aspirations.

It’s a feeling, and feelings are felt in the body. When used in this way it’s a simple and fun tool to help you make the best choice possible. 

Rather than describe what I mean in detail, let’s jump right in and walk you through how to get there.

Think about being on the other side of this choice. Think about your ideal outcome, the very best thing that could happen once the choice is made. Picture everything working out even better than you could imagine.

How does that feel in your body? 

Where do you feel it in your body? 

Give yourself a moment to notice if your shoulders are relaxed, your throat is open, and the line between your eyebrows is nowhere to be seen.

Now, here’s the beautiful part:

These sensations in your body? This is what alignment can feel like for you, a way for you to trust you’re on the frequency of your goal.

Think of it like tuning your radio station to your favorite genre of music, then saving that setting so you can go back whenever you want to hang out in that vibe.

Now, think about this situation not working out the way you’re hoping. Really picture it, or make a list of things that could go wrong if picturing it is tough.

Once again, feel that in your body. Check in with those same places. Or maybe you feel a knot in your stomach, or perhaps you’ve unconsciously tightened muscles in your feet, hips, or face (or anywhere, really).

This is your body’s internal radar pointing out of alignment. 

And this is where it gets fun … now that you have a feel for what aligned vs. unaligned is for you:

Hold each option you’re considering in your mind. Picture it as clearly as you can or write it out (or both). This can be a matter of a few seconds, it doesn’t need to be complicated!

See if you can discern which option lines up with your body’s ‘aligned’ signal. 

There you have it - simple, right?

Sometimes! 

If the above exercise worked for you, you’re all set! But, if not, read on for a subtle nuance that can put a chink in this chain.

One not-often-discussed factor in alignment is … nervous system regulation.

If you’re in a state of stress, anxiety, or you don’t feel safe making this decision, you won’t be able to access this internal radar system the way you can when you’re in a calm, regulated state. We simply don’t have access to the same parts of the brain when our sympathetic nervous system is activated.

My top recommendation is to ask for help, where possible. A chat with a friend, partner, or trusted coach can help you feel supported, while also giving you an outside perspective. You can’t see what you can’t see, right?

Another option is to simply drop back into your body and begin to notice the signals it’s sending you. 

What do you see?

What can you hear?

What do you feel against your skin?

What can you smell?

What do you taste?

Live inside the sensations of your body and allow it to calm itself naturally.

Once you’ve calmed your state, even temporarily, try the above exercise again.

Safety in the nervous system is required for us to access our intuition, higher levels of thinking and reasoning, find creative solutions, and yes, make aligned choices.

I truly hope this gives you a great start towards understanding alignment and the simplicity of making choices from a place of safety and a grounded nervous system.

If you’d like help making a tough choice, click here to schedule a free 30 minute discovery call, or if you’re ready to dive right in, here to book a Clarity Coaching session.

I love you. I believe in you. You got this.

Tiffany

P.S. If you’re feeling overwhelmed before even getting to the decision, start here…